You guys would probably think that by now I had documented my history of stupid pretty well.
No my friends. I am just getting started.
About ten years ago I was replacing the rotted out stringers and deck in an old fiberglass boat.
I was stirring up a batch of two part flotation foam and a little drop of that got in my right eyeball.
And it catalysed in my eye.
That stuff has an amazing expansion rate.
Off we go to the E.R.
My good friend took a magic marker and drew a spot on the palm of my hand and told me look at that spot and dont blink!
Which actually did help a bit.
That crap expanded in my eye and started foaming out.
And when that stuff reacts, it gets really damn hot
Yep. They but me in a head brace thing and picked at it and it only felt like gravel for about two weeks.
You would think that this would be enough to end this story.
Nope.
About 6 months later, I was doing an earthquake retrofit at a restuarant.
We had to move a couple of big heavy can shelves.
I grabbed the first shelve and yanked it sideways and turned my head.
When I did that, a glass one gallon jar of Thai chili sauce fell off of the other shelf and hit the tile floor and broke and bounced.
Just in time for me to turn around all slack jawed and take it right in the face.
Thai chili sauce down my throat, up my nose, in both eyes.
Im lucky, I didnt get any glass.
But I got all of that sauce. It knocked my hat off.
And I am hear to tell you that you really should not put Thai chili in your eye
The chef heard me using every possible swear word known to man and came running around the corner. Saw me holding my eyes and thought I had popped an eyeball out.
Had to call my wife to drive me home because my eyeballs were full of hot sauce.
The only good part of this was that I had a pretty miserable cold when this happened.
Snot ran out of me in various gross ways for a few hours after and then I didnt have a cold.
My eyes were puffed and leaking and my head looked like a boiled ham but I didnt have a cold anymore.
I dont recomend it.
No my friends. I am just getting started.
About ten years ago I was replacing the rotted out stringers and deck in an old fiberglass boat.
I was stirring up a batch of two part flotation foam and a little drop of that got in my right eyeball.
And it catalysed in my eye.
That stuff has an amazing expansion rate.
Off we go to the E.R.
My good friend took a magic marker and drew a spot on the palm of my hand and told me look at that spot and dont blink!
Which actually did help a bit.
That crap expanded in my eye and started foaming out.
And when that stuff reacts, it gets really damn hot
Yep. They but me in a head brace thing and picked at it and it only felt like gravel for about two weeks.
You would think that this would be enough to end this story.
Nope.
About 6 months later, I was doing an earthquake retrofit at a restuarant.
We had to move a couple of big heavy can shelves.
I grabbed the first shelve and yanked it sideways and turned my head.
When I did that, a glass one gallon jar of Thai chili sauce fell off of the other shelf and hit the tile floor and broke and bounced.
Just in time for me to turn around all slack jawed and take it right in the face.
Thai chili sauce down my throat, up my nose, in both eyes.
Im lucky, I didnt get any glass.
But I got all of that sauce. It knocked my hat off.
And I am hear to tell you that you really should not put Thai chili in your eye
The chef heard me using every possible swear word known to man and came running around the corner. Saw me holding my eyes and thought I had popped an eyeball out.
Had to call my wife to drive me home because my eyeballs were full of hot sauce.
The only good part of this was that I had a pretty miserable cold when this happened.
Snot ran out of me in various gross ways for a few hours after and then I didnt have a cold.
My eyes were puffed and leaking and my head looked like a boiled ham but I didnt have a cold anymore.
I dont recomend it.