Favorite beer

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thinger2

I'm Awesome
Joined
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
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Location
Tacoma
How about your best beer story.
When I was young, back before Seattle became a really awesome beer town.
We only had Rainier, Olympia, Friggen Buckhorn, and Hamms.
And it was all bad.
It was like having sex in a canoe.
******* close to water.
So years later I had moved away and got drunk and decided to propose and invited the whole fam damily to my wedding.
My buddy Jim bought me an 18 pack of Rainier as a wedding gift.
Just for the friggen nostalgia of it all.
Hauled it all the way to laughlin Nevada in his semi.
I know ive told this story before but it is grand so stick with me.
So we get to Laughlin and get hammered.
The next morning Me and my friend Matt go to the casino bar for a hangover cure.
And drank six pitchers of bloody marys.
Six for breakfast.
We decide we should probably sleep for a bit before my wedding that night on the boat.
He left, I paid the tab turned around and my whole family walked in the door and they were thirsty.
Back to the bar.
More bloody maries.
So we get married on this riverboat.
The ceremony is on the foredeck of the boat and they have a video camera set up between the rows of seats to record this.
All is well.
Before this next episode my ex thought that Jim was awesome.
So we go on our whole honymoon trip and a couple of weeks later my ex invites all of her friends who didnt go to the wedding over to watch this video.
A full blown major White Zinfendel and Michalob Ultra episode.
I walked in the door hard hat in hand and just ******* spent. Just all in and done.
So the video starts with us on the foredeck of the boat
And Jim stood right in the centerline of that boat with his bald spot and he reached down and openeded a rainier beer. And stood up in front of the camera and shotgunned it.
And then got another beer and shotgunned it.
And he kept doing it.
My entire wedding video is Jim slamming beers with that camera glaring off of his bald spot.
That was the same night Princess Dianna died and the same night my ex wife discovered video poker machines.
Her dad was going to pay for all of it.
But being a broke as **** ex con which I didnt know about.
He didnt have any money.
I was on the hook for 8 grand just for knowing these *****.
I know Ive probably told this story before.
When I walked in hallway and saw the video tape of the back of Jims head?
That is the very moment I learned the moonwalk.
I levitated right the **** out.
I vaporised right the **** out.
And all of the sudden Jim is a sack of ****.
Her entire family of wanna be *****.
Her little weasel prison child molester"Step Dad" is wanting to borrow 50 ******* thousand dollars off of me and trying to be all tough guy .
He did 6 years for that little scam.
****** had the balls to threaten me
Still an Eagle Scout. Get ******.
Beer camera Jim lives in Montana and has pretty serious heart problems.
He is coming to Seattle for very very experimental heart surgery.
I am worried as hell. This is pretty much his last chance.
His wife, Amy is going to be on her own after 30 years if he doesnt make it.
I dont know if she has accepted that.
Jim is my other brother.
Sometimes you have to save your ******* pain for another day.
Either way,
A car building drag racing 420 sail racing soling racing big boat offshore deep water navigating knot tying sailor is in some ****.
When we met, I was the big badass big boat sailor.
We ******* hated each other.
We butted heads untill we finally gave up.
I am a pretty damn good big boat offshore sailor.
I cant ******* sleep. I can not ******* sleep in any near shore run.
We need to be way the **** out in deep water and way beyond the continental shelf and way the **** out of the shipping lanes. And past the crab pots and the 40 foot friggen trees that are floating around
Jim is the only guy I trust.
Jim is the only guy who I can go sleep when he is on deck.
We are wrapped together in a lifetime of trust.
And i have no idea how to cope with the thought that he might not make it.
But I need to set that all aside and deal with that on my own later.
I need to figure out how I can help his wife through all of this.
That is what he is worried about and that is why we keep trying to tell him that we got it all covered and just worry about you
Thats is the hard part men.
The universe does not give you extra points for ignoring your physical or mental health.
Slowly dying from a lifelong beatdown really doesnt impress anyone.
Looks like I have to step into this whole financial turd just to keep the vultures off of his wife.
What makes this all really fuvking awesome for me is that his sister is my first ex wife.
She found Jesus long ago.
I think she snuck up on him while he wasnt looking.
I am probably in for some high level fuckery.
 
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