What Im gonna make her a friggen ham sandwich?
Ham? Ick.
Question: WHY is "ham" different from "Pork"?
Answer: "Ham" is kinda-sorta pickled. Preserved. Salted.
Question: Why is "corned beef" the same color as "ham"?
Answer: Because it's kinda-sorta pickled. Preserved. Salted.
Qustion: Why doesn't "corned beef" have corn?
Answer: "Corning" is the name for the process used to preserve/salt the meat. Ever heard of "Corningware"? Their original products were the cookware needed to preserve meat.
This time of year, I'd go for "New England Boiled Dinner", aka "Corned Beef and Cabbage".
Pretty simple, worst part is peeling the potatoes. Well, that and paying for the corned beef. Around here, corned beef brisket is triple the price it used to be. And the included spice packet is smaller. Bastages.
Carrots (2 lb bag)
Potatoes (5 lb bag)
Onions (2--3--4--more depending on size and your preferences)
Cabbage (One Big Head)
And of course your corned beef brisket...or two. I almost never do "one" any more. Which then gives you two "spice packets", one for the meat in the pressure cooker, one for the veggies. The meat is salty enough, no need to salt the veggies. I rinse the meat quickly before boiling.
I've gotten so that I pressure-cook the corned beef and one spice packet separately. Biggest mistake people make--including me up until a couple years ago--is to not boil the brisket(s) long enough. If what you take out of the pot is not fall-apart tender, or has all sorts of gross rubbery honey-comb connective tissue...
you didn't cook it long enough. Maybe an hour in the pressure cooker, 15-20 psi. Will depend on altitude, size of the briskets, etc.
It's not like you can over-cook the thing. Better too-long than not long enough. (Warning: most pressure cookers are aluminum, and intended for canning, not "cooking dinner". If the aluminum is corroded--at all--the food tastes like corroded aluminum. Non-aluminum pressure cooker strongly preferred. Or just cook the meat longer in a normal bigass pot. 12--16 quart)
Turn off the heat, let the pressure subside. Then strain the yuck out of the water. Use the strained, flavorful water, plus additional water if needed before you start boiling the sliced carrots and quartered (or smaller--bite-size) potatoes with the meat and the second spice packet, probably in a bigger pot instead of the pressure cooker. Let the meat, carrots and 'taters cook, add sliced onion and sliced cabbage toward the end. Some folks throw everything together in the pot, cook it all at once--but the cabbage will be a soggy mess and the meat and carrots will be under-done. You can "time" the cooking by how finely you slice the carrots and potatoes.
If you don't have a pressure cooker, at least give the meat a head-start in the bigass pot before straining the water and adding veggies. Cook until potatoes are done.
Trim the fat off the meat AFTER cooking. If the meat has cooked long enough, the fat will practically peel off cleanly. Slice the meat across the grain.
Serves a small horde. Prepare for "leftovers".
Apoligies for thread-crapping.