my truck dosent have a built in oil cooler. can someone help me that knows MORE about these trucks than i do. just cuz it says newbe on my profile dosent mean im stupid. im trying to diag it with out tearing into the motor.
Well, seeing as how you are new to this site, we really don't know what you know, do we? Giving you a simple explanation is far from treating you like you are stupid. It is much better to cover the basics now than to think about it later after you have thrown money away trying to cover everything but the simple solutions. You asked for what we think, so don't bite somebody's head off when they give you exactly that.
Paul is right about the oil in your coolant vs. coolant in your oil. If you don't have a milkshake in your oilpan, then what you may be seeing is ATF in your coolant, which after mixing with water may not still look red. It is possible to get oily residue in the coolant with a blown head gasket or cracked head, but more likely with a cracked cylinder. You may wish to check your coolant for the presence of combustion gasses with the test kits available at most parts stores. A compression test would also help to weed out a head gasket, in which case you should not have more than ten percent variation between cylinders. If you find a severe drop, you have a winner. Aside from that, look for a wet (with water, not fuel) spark plug or one that is extremely clean (steam cleaned). If you have none of the above symptoms, and you didn't mention any overheating, then you probably don't have a blown head gasket, cracked cylinder, or cracked head.
Back to the simple stuff: You mentioned that the fuel pump checked out OK. I assume that means that you checked your fuel pressure. If so, what pressure did you get? It should be between 11 and 13 PSI. If not, check power and ground at the pump and replace it if necessary. Have you checked the resistance of the throttle position sensor? If not, check it for sweep and continuity, meaning that the resistance does increase with sweep and that there are no dead spots. Replace if it doesn't check out. Is your timing set right? It should be at zero degrees witht the wire unplugged. Did this problem just suddenly occur, or is it something that came on gradually and has gotten worse over time?