Do you rev match when downshifting? I have three different 3500's myself. One is currently torn apart due to pilot bearing failure chewing up the input shaft, two are being used behind vortec 5.7's, both with mild work done. Nothing crazy. One of them grinds occasionally from 4th-3rd and 3rd-2nd if I don't match the rpm. Other than that I'd try different fluids. All three of them seem to like the pennzoil synchromesh more than anything else, including royal purple. Unless the grinding bothers you enough to replace the trans I really wouldn't worry about it. I personally think the 3500 is plenty adequate in a light duty truck. I tow with mine regularly and I never baby my vehicles, I'm hard on everything I drive. Someone I know local to me has a 6.0 swapped OBS with an nv3500 and its held up just fine. Remember, it's a truck transmission. It needs to be treated as such, don't put it in 1st unless you're stopped or rolling slower than 5 mph, don't try to bang gears and don't dump the clutch. It'll last. Or use this as a way to justify a t56 swap, your truck not mine. Just my $.02