Status update. I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm trying to hang in there, but this thing just keeps getting worse, and worse, and worse. It's gotten to the point where it won't start at all. First, I think the battery is dying on me, second, I can't tell if the coil, the cap, or rotor are going out. I bought a compression tester that I sort of can't use yet. But here is where things just further test my strength and patience as a human being.
This morning I needed to get to work and it would not start. My dad got back after taking my mother to her dialysis appointment and the two of us tried to **** with it some more. After spending hours just desperately trying to get it to fire up, and after it kept belching plume after plume of thick white smoke through the throttle body I had to give up and just borrow my dads truck. I finally made it to work about 5 hours late. At that point I could've just called in, but what the hell, I get paid by the hour.
So, I get home and try to use this inline spark tester I bought at work. I hook it up and all and climb into my truck and get ready to crank while I look between the hood and wiper cowl to watch for the flash. I suspected that either my coil, cap, or rotor where dying on me as there seemed to be absolutely no fire when cranking the engine. So I turn the key and try to see the flash, and the goddamn thing fires right up like it always used to, used to... I get out and look into the engine bay and see the tester flashing with the spark plug. I decide to give a few revs by grabbing the onto the throttle body, and when I try to rev it the engine hesitates like usual before picking up speed, but I noticed something, the light on the spark tester grows real dim, almost to the point of going out completely before the engine picks up again and then the light returns. Now, I have no confidence or certainty left within me, but I feel like that's not what I want to see if the ignition system should be fine, I think there is something wrong there. Could it be the battery? The spark coil? The distributor cap or rotor?
ANOTHER THING! The engine kept blowing thick white smoke at me for the four friggin' hours my father and I kept trying and trying and trying and trying to start it, what the hell is that about? It smelled real strong of gas, and naturally I figured, "if it has the lean codes, to try and fix this the computer will just dump more fuel in, it must be flooding itself out". So I pull out every spark plug one by one, and they are all completely soaked, as well as being completely filthy. So, while I have them out I decide that I'll also check and/or re-gap each one. As I take one upside down and tap it on a hard surface under the hood, gas just pours of the spark plug, enough to leave a puddle. So I continue and spray my plugs with some carb cleaner, brush 'em gently with a brass wire brush, but as one is sitting to dry it becomes covered with rust, and the puddle where gas poured out, nothing but rust left when the gas evaporates! Hold on, what the hell is this!? In another spot where I poured some gas out of a spark plug all the gas had already evaporated, but a single drop is left, I already know that it's friggin' water! Why the hell is there water in my engine!?
I've already replaced the intake gaskets, a heater hose, the radiator, the heater core, the water pump, don't tell me it's the head gaskets now! That could only be the next logical thing, like something out of a cartoon with cracks in a dam once I fixed one leak in my cooling system, another one would spring up somewhere else! So for about 2 years I was chasing leaks in my system!! And now the head gaskets are the last stop on this express crazy train straight to Hell! I know, coolant in the combustion chamber can often be identified by white smoke out of the tailpipe, but my truck never smokes, but when I go to start it tonight, f@!%ing smoke! Could it be all the gas burning out of the system? The half-a-can each of Ether and carb cleaner I sprayed into the intake!? Or coolant!?! Could it just be that it's getting cold out? I'm at a loss, and my willpower and spirit are fading fast. I guess it would make sense that the engine is drinking coolant, since the level in the radiator, slowly, very, very, slowly, has gone down about 4 to 6 inches from the top of the radiator neck, over about the course of an entire year to a year and a half. I know it's not just dumping into the crankcase which was the reason I originally replaced my intake gaskets, or else I would see it and notice it in the oil.
And about the lean conditions, could it be possible that a fuel injector has popped our of its port in the intake manifold? When I went to replace my fuel pressure regulator in the plenum, I noticed lots of injectors with missing tabs that clip them into place, broken from years of age and heat. With those clips holding them in their spot properly, could they pop out? And if so, could that make the computer perceive a lean condition, cause it to dump extra fuel in, only to have that spray as a huge mess inside the plenum and cause plumes of white smoke to burp out of the port where the IAC valve is? Because that IAC valve doesn't seem to be doing **** anymore, and every time I pull the throttle body hat off and open the plate, everything is covered in gas.
I could go on and on about this, but it would be wasted effort. At this point I am seriously considering, although it would be more work than necessary and a bit pricey, if I should just grab a Gen III engine, like a 4.8 or 5.3, and just swap it in and call it a day. I am literally at that point right about now. What did I do wrong? My father and I took care of this truck. I baby it, I service it, I look after it like a member of our family. Why?
On another note, say I found the money to do a swap, what would your recommendations be, lol? I want a 4.8, but really, if I could find one, I'd really love a 6.0.
LONG STORY SHORT, a simple, overlooked vacuum leak to small to find with starter fluid, brake cleaner, etc, yet somehow large enough to be noticed by the computer and cause trouble for everything involved and snowball into something so big it almost made me lose faith in my own truck, ended up being an o-ring around the spider assembly that had rolled off. And I just had a gut feeling that the problem was there, because the last time I replaced the plenum and gaskets I did not at all like how the plenum felt going down on that o-ring, and I soaked the PISS out of that area with starter fluid, carburetor cleaner, brake cleaner, and NOTHING happened. Well, folks, there you have it. My truck runs again and has been going strong for almost a month now with no engine light or codes. I fixed my vacuum leak, my misfire from burned caps and rotors due to clogged distributor vents, and my parking brakes, and got inspected. I am a happy Chevy man once more. 
