Stripper

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thinger2

I'm Awesome
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I almost forgot the worst stripper story!
Back in the late 1980s, A freind is getting married so we organized a bachelor party for him.
We picked up a copy of the local **** newspaper and perused the adds for escorts, strippers whatever.
We couldnt pick one so we taped it too the wall and the best man threw a dart at it.
And that is who we called.
This woman knew her business.
There was a level of whipped cream Lolli-Pop debauchery and embarrassment that was quite beyond our expectations.
So he gets married, goes on the honeymoon etc..
A couple of months later he is walking through the shopping mall with the new wife when he spots this stripper.
She is making a friggen bee line towards him.
This is a violation of the stripper code!
She ran right up and grabbed his wife and gave her a big hug.
The stripper was his wifes cousin.
This poor ******* guy didnt want anything to do with it in the first place but we pressured him into it.
We threw a dart and left him with a huge moral dillemma.
He finally told his wife the story after thanksgiving with the family got really awkward.
 

thinger2

I'm Awesome
Joined
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
1,562
Reaction score
3,935
Location
Tacoma
I almost forgot the worst stripper story!
Back in the late 1980s, A freind is getting married so we organized a bachelor party for him.
We picked up a copy of the local **** newspaper and perused the adds for escorts, strippers whatever.
We couldnt pick one so we taped it too the wall and the best man threw a dart at it.
And that is who we called.
This woman knew her business.
There was a level of whipped cream Lolli-Pop debauchery and embarrassment that was quite beyond our expectations.
So he gets married, goes on the honeymoon etc..
A couple of months later he is walking through the shopping mall with the new wife when he spots this stripper.
She is making a friggen bee line towards him.
This is a violation of the stripper code!
She ran right up and grabbed his wife and gave her a big hug.
The stripper was his wifes cousin.
This poor ******* guy didnt want anything to do with it in the first place but we pressured him into it.
We threw a dart and left him with a huge moral dillemma.
He finally told his wife the story after thanksgiving with the family got really awkward.
Fuckit kids.
Lets do some wedding stories.
My freind Pat. RIP
Pat was married 6 or 7 times.
He got the last one annulled by the courts because she didnt tell him that she was on work release from jail.
Went to a wedding for a freind of my ex wife.
The groom left the wedding reception to go to the strip bar.
Yep, left the reception to go to the strip bar.
Way back in the late 80s I went to a freinds wedding.
She puked all over him and kinda slid face first down the podium stair thing.
One night I got friggen married again on a riverboat in Laughlin Nevada.
Her dad said he was paying for the whole thing.
Nope. He was paying for it as long as I gave him the money.
My family flew in from all across the world.
My younger brother told me not to do it.
Did it anyway.
So we get married. And being a former commercial sailor I go up into the pilothouse to tip the crew and ask this guy how he ended up running wedding boats on the river.
Dude tells me all about how hurricane Gilbert drowned his family and they found his daugter and his wife a half mile inland and wrapped in barbed wire.
That little moment with that guy was so intense and emotional.
Very much hard truth sailor talk.
Got off the boat,
The ex wife hit a 1500 dollar royal flush on a video poker machine.
And decided that it would always happen that way as long as she put enough money in to it.
So I go to the atm to get some cash because she just stuffed all of it into a video poker machine.
Which is what I was doing when my brother and his wife told the whole crowd about princess Diana just having died in a car crash.

The night of August 30th, 1997.
Because daddy said he would pay for everything, she ordered enough food to feed 250 people.
The boat was only certified for something like 60 people.
My northwest people did show up.
And a lot of them got thrown out by security because they were throwing meatballs and chicken wings off of the balcony.
Her Dad, the guy who just ripped me for about 8 grand.Threatened to kill me.
Her brother dropped his little infant kid head first into a bowl of bean dip and wanted my mother to clean the kid so he go gamble.
Her brother on the way home from this whole idiotic clown show got into a road rage incident and shot his toe off.
That is part of my wedding story.
Just the highlights.
I probably should have listened to my brother
 
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