many years ago, I adopted a big damn 25 pound orange stripe cat.
Not fat, just a big boy.
And my ex wife decided to get him declawed while I was out of town.
Psychopath.
And the cat ends up hating her.
So one night in the middle of a blizzard in Denver I am in the garage with 25 twelve foot sheets of drywall that I am spliiting into 4s and 8s. with a t square and a box knife.
And she is sitting on the top of the stairs telling me all about how to do it.
And the cat gets in behind the open door and she starts ******* with it through that little gap.
"You ****** youre just a little ******* cat etc...
And out of the corner of my eye I saw that cat stand up and punch her right through the door gap and broke her nose.
And that is when on sheet number 25 I cut the end of my thumb off right to the bone.
So we go to the ER
And I got interviewed by the cops and she got offered help from a womens shelter.
DId you break her nose?
No, the cat did it!
Bullshit, why did you try to cut your thumb off after you broke her nose?
That is just the highlights of the night.
It got much worse.
That summer we decided to go on vacation in an attempt to patch our horrible toxic relationship.
So we went to a resort in Mexico.
At that point I had worked like a ******* dog and had pulled off 3 NFL stadiums, 2 ballparks, about 35 other projects and some hockey too.
I didnt take a vacation for years.
So we went to Mexico.
Ive already been to Mexico many times.
Her first time.
So on about day two of laying around on the beach I figure out who has the motah or however you spell it.
That is a brick of really good weed that comes with blanket.
I still have the blanket.
So we lay out in the sun and drink about 37 beers and get all kinda ****** up.
Then we go back to the hotel room and I raided the mini bar.
Picked up a Pacifico and it slipped out out of my hand.
Dropped it on the tile floor and the end of the bottle broke off and the carbonation launched it like a rocket.
And then i came down and cored my toes like an apple.
So, being stupid and all.
I dont want to go to a doctor in Mexico.
Ill just patch that up myself.
**** it.
So my ex wife wrapped my foot in pink Kotex pads and I went to the strore drunk as **** and stoned out of my ******* mind.
I bought a sewing kit and some Mexican vodka and stiched my foot back together and stayed another week
When i figure out to blot my face I will post the pink pad pictures.
they are truly dumb but they are my dumb
Not fat, just a big boy.
And my ex wife decided to get him declawed while I was out of town.
Psychopath.
And the cat ends up hating her.
So one night in the middle of a blizzard in Denver I am in the garage with 25 twelve foot sheets of drywall that I am spliiting into 4s and 8s. with a t square and a box knife.
And she is sitting on the top of the stairs telling me all about how to do it.
And the cat gets in behind the open door and she starts ******* with it through that little gap.
"You ****** youre just a little ******* cat etc...
And out of the corner of my eye I saw that cat stand up and punch her right through the door gap and broke her nose.
And that is when on sheet number 25 I cut the end of my thumb off right to the bone.
So we go to the ER
And I got interviewed by the cops and she got offered help from a womens shelter.
DId you break her nose?
No, the cat did it!
Bullshit, why did you try to cut your thumb off after you broke her nose?
That is just the highlights of the night.
It got much worse.
That summer we decided to go on vacation in an attempt to patch our horrible toxic relationship.
So we went to a resort in Mexico.
At that point I had worked like a ******* dog and had pulled off 3 NFL stadiums, 2 ballparks, about 35 other projects and some hockey too.
I didnt take a vacation for years.
So we went to Mexico.
Ive already been to Mexico many times.
Her first time.
So on about day two of laying around on the beach I figure out who has the motah or however you spell it.
That is a brick of really good weed that comes with blanket.
I still have the blanket.
So we lay out in the sun and drink about 37 beers and get all kinda ****** up.
Then we go back to the hotel room and I raided the mini bar.
Picked up a Pacifico and it slipped out out of my hand.
Dropped it on the tile floor and the end of the bottle broke off and the carbonation launched it like a rocket.
And then i came down and cored my toes like an apple.
So, being stupid and all.
I dont want to go to a doctor in Mexico.
Ill just patch that up myself.
**** it.
So my ex wife wrapped my foot in pink Kotex pads and I went to the strore drunk as **** and stoned out of my ******* mind.
I bought a sewing kit and some Mexican vodka and stiched my foot back together and stayed another week
When i figure out to blot my face I will post the pink pad pictures.
they are truly dumb but they are my dumb
